Knowing how emotionally mature someone is can be the most important thing to know about them; but this knowledge may take (painful) years to acquire. This is why we’ve devised a very quick and very reliable test that can – in a few minutes – help us to ascertain our own and other people’s level of emotional maturity. It all has to do with how one responds to vulnerability.
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“One of the more puzzling aspects of the way we’re built is that our emotional development does not necessarily or automatically keep pace with our physical growth. We can be fifty-five on the outside and four and a half in terms of our impulses and habitual manner of communicating – just as we can be on the threshold of adulthood physically while an emotional sage within.
In order to assess our own and others’ emotional development, we can make use of a single deceptively simple question that quickly gets to the core of our underlying emotional ‘age’.
When someone on whom we depend emotionally lets us down, disappoints us, or leaves us hanging and uncertain, what is our characteristic way of responding?…”
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